Being a Mom is amazing. Life changing. Pure and unconditional love unlike any other kind you’ve experienced. But let’s be real. It’s also exhausting, stressful, overwhelming, overstimulating, thankless, and just really, really, really hard. Sometimes we don’t eat when we are supposed to. Or we eat quick and easy stuff that isn’t healthy or giving us the nourishment our bodies need. We definitely don’t sleep enough. We worry a lot about every little thing. We don’t make time for ourselves like we should. All of that adds up and impacts our physical and mental well-being.
We need healthy coping strategies. We need relief. Yoga, deep breathing, a walk. A moment of solitude. But when we don’t have time for those things or we feel like we need a quick fix- what do we reach for? A glass of wine. Maybe a bottle. “Mommy wine culture” is everywhere and so engrained in our society. It’s so normalized that we begin to think this is the only solution – the answer we’ve been searching for. We don’t realize it’s actually making our issues worse in the long run but we don’t know any other way. Moms consuming lots of alcohol has been deemed comical, very normal, and an acceptable solution for stress relief and relaxation.
I’m not knocking Moms who enjoy their glass of wine. I used to be one of them. I’m knocking the way “Mommy juice” is glorified in our society – it’s plastered everywhere, taking away from the real issues that need to be discussed out in the open instead of being swept under the rug. Our feelings of isolation, unworthiness, guilt, insanity, anger, and shame because of everything that falls on our shoulders and the weight of the impossibility of accomplishing it all perfectly. These things should matter. But we are basically told to suck it up and chug it down.
Where do we end and our kids begin? Who are we without them? Why are we all trying so hard but never feel like we’re enough? Why are we expected to make sure everyone else’s world is spinning perfectly while we are left feeling dizzy, unbalanced, and struggling to see straight? Our cups are rarely full but the only solution for us is an empty bottle and the answers to these questions are never found at the bottom.
Let’s spit some facts: Women are drinking more excessively and dying at a faster rate than men from alcohol abuse and alcohol related diseases such as liver disease, heart disease, and cancer. In an analysis of two decades of data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, it was found that women’s alcohol-related mortality rate rose by 14.7%, as compared to 12.5% in men. Women also metabolize alcohol at a slower rate than men, making them more susceptible to these long term issues. Women aren’t thinking of these things when they are drinking out of a coffee mug that reads “there’s probably wine in here.” It’s all made out to be a joke but the reality of the situation isn’t very funny at all.
Where do we go from here? We need to make it okay to talk about our struggles out loud. We need to demand more access to better resources. We need to ask for the help we are lacking and so desperately need. We shouldn’t have to carry all this weight because let me tell you… It. Is. HEAVY. And it’s something a heavy pour can’t fix. We need more than a glass of cab.
We need to value our own worth, and leave space for self-love. We are creators of life. The strongest, most powerful, badass women on the planet. Let’s own that, ladies. Let’s find our people, lean on one another, and stop buying into the bullshit narrative that all we need to do is drink our worries away. Sober or not, we all know deep down that we deserve so much more than that. So do our children.
As parents, we have the unique opportunity to right the wrongs of our own past and stop the trauma cycle dead in its tracks. We are able to teach our children that the relationship they have with themselves is the most important one of all. That they must learn to love themselves fully and tend to their own needs first in order to give proper love to anyone else. In order to teach it, we have to believe it.
We shouldn’t have to suffer in silence like the women that came before us. Let’s start changing things today so that our children will have a better tomorrow. Then, just maybe we’ll be around to see that change come to fruition, knowing that we played a role in it all. What a beautiful thing that’ll be. We owe it to ourselves and we’ve earned it a thousand times over. And honestly… who else is going to make it happen? Spitting more facts: Moms just get shit done.
Lyric & A Whole Lotta Love 